Chapter 12
Crech raised a gun. An AK47 gun that shot lightning bolts. Bo saw it and felt guilty. “I guess Retro told him about what I said about the AK47,”
he thought in guilt. He backed away, and everyone else did too. They
backed away until their backs were pressing against the cold blue door.
“You
can’t escape now,” Crech growled. “I’ve got this button here that will
lock you guys in!” He turned and hovered his hand next to the button
threateningly. He wiggled his eyebrows. One of his eyes was bigger than
the other. He shifted the weight of the AK47 in his hand.
Tommy
knew he had to do something quick. So he did. He shot an invisible ray
at the button. Then he crossed his arms, and smiled at Crech with half
eyes. “Go ahead and press it,” he said. “Lock us in for all we care.”
Crech
scowled and angrily pushed the button. Tommy tried the door. It opened!
“It didn’t work,” Tommy said, grinning. Crech screamed and pressed the
button ten more times, and while he was doing so, everybody had already
run out of the room.
“I’LL
GETCHA!!” Crech yelled, and dropping the gun, he ran out after them.
Seven feet away in front, there were our three heroes, the two cheetah
brothers, the python, and the two chimps. Being an elephant, and a small
one at that, Crech could not catch up with the eight creatures who were
running their breath out. He finally gave up and retreated back to the
blue room.
Chimpi
slowed down and looked behind him. “He’s gone, guys,” he said. “But we
better watch out - he most expectedly will have a backup plan.”
“Nah,” said Bo. “That only happens in lame children’s stories.”
The eight creatures came up to a solid gray door. “What could be inside..” Tommy said.
Bo pushed his way through the others and gave the door a hard shove.
After a few seconds, Mahasyaf and Faysaham started laughing. “It didn’t open, Bo,” Mahasyaf chuckled.
“Is that so?” asked Bo. “Well then, it seems as if we need you, Tommy.”
Tommy
sighed in most annoyance. He always had to do everything on these
missions. He pushed through everybody and walked up to the gray door. He
studied it with his X-Ray vision. Through the door, he could see a
staircase. A tall, circular staircase that led up to a wired hole.
“Well, I guess we should go in,” said Tommy.
“Duh, Tommy! Why do you think we asked for you?” Bo said.
“Because I am totally amazing!” said Tommy.
“Well, open it. And hurry up, before that smelly guy comes back!” said Zoe, glancing behind her.
Tommy sighed, then started to push against the door. It started to move.
“How offensive!” said Bo. “Does that imply that I am weak?”
Yes, Bo. Please let me continue.
Anyway,
as Tommy slowly pushed the door, (it only budged one inch at a time) he
glared back at the others. “If...you..want me to...hurry
up...then..HELP ME!!” he grunted.
Everybody
looked at each other. Zoe stared at Bo, who stared at Faysaham, who
glared at Mahasyaf, who stared at Johnny Boy, who stared at Chitter, who
stared at Chimpi. Then they all stared at Tommy. There was a long
pause. Then...
“How rude and helpless you all are! Go and help Tommy!” Bo yelled bossily as if he had been helping Tommy the whole time.
Everybody
grunted at Bo and then started to push against each other. Chimpi
pushed Chitter, who managed to push Johnny Boy, who tried to push
Mahasyaf, who pushed Faysaham, who pushed Bo, who pushed Zoe, who pushed
Tommy. The door swung open.
“YAY!”
the creatures yelled. Then Bo quickly looked back to see if Crech had
come back. He hadn’t, but Bo could hear voices. And they were getting
louder. Bo’s eyes opened wide.
“Quick, guys! Get in!” he hissed, pushing everyone into the doorway. “Get up the stairs! Someone’s coming!”
Everyone
fatly piled in and started up the stairs. Tommy was last, and as they
were running, Tommy blasted them with a Quick-Pace Ray to make them run
faster. Then, with the open steel door still in sight, he shot it with a
ray to close it, just as the bad guys were about to burst in.
January 30, 2013
January 20, 2013
In the Jungle: Chapter 11
Chapter 11
Bo ran over to the blue shelf the box was on. He grabbed it and tried to take it down - but obviously, it was too heavy.
“This weighs like about 9,000 pounds!” he grunted. Zoe stared at Tommy, who looked at Johnny Boy, who glanced at Faysaham, who glared at Mahasyaf, who looked at Chattering Monkey.
Bo turned his head and glared at the others. “Well, what are you waiting for? Help me!”
Tommy sighed. Then he morphed. He had gotten so used to morphing that he could now morph without shaping himself with his hands. All he did was imagine himself as a gigantic hammer, and he morphed into a hammer. After he had morphed, he hopped over, then smashed his face into the steel cage. He smashed again. Then again. Then his head burst into the box. A scream sounded inside the box. Then Tommy’s scream sounded and he leaped out of the box, morphing back to himself in the air.
“Crazy...Nerd...” he gasped, still shaken by his experience. Suddenly the ‘Crazy Nerd’ leaped out of the box. Tommy screamed.
The ‘Crazy Nerd’ appeared to be a chimp with crazy, kinky, reddish orange fur. He glared at Tommy with one eye bigger than the other. “Hey, short blue guy,” he growled, “Thanks a lot. You have a flat top, by the way.”
Tommy drew back in offense. The chimp grinned. “Just kidding. My name is Chimpi.”
Tommy blinked. “How original.”
“I know, right?” said Chimpi. “I would’ve renamed myself if I could. To something more...exotic.”
Chimpi was very tall. He was about 4 1/2 feet tall. “You guys are so small!” he said.
“Well, you try going in Hakrin and deal with the consequences. Then we’ll see who’s small!” Bo argued. Chimpi glared at Bo and made the ‘I’m watching you’ sign.
Chattering Monkey nodded, agreeing with Bo, even though he wasn’t shrunken. Then he started his boxer shuffle. Chimpi started his boxer shuffle too. Then they started to fight. The two chimps rolled on the ground. Chattering Monkey (Chitter for short) gave Chimpi a big, hard whack across his nose. After nursing himself, Chimpi did a sweep kick, tripping Chitter. Chitter screamed and quickly got up. He smashed down Chimpi’s head, then socked him in the stomach. Chimpi wailed and collapsed to the ground, defeated. Chitter leaped onto Chimpi and did a little chittering dance.
“Um...I think that’s enough, Chitter,” said Bo ashamedly. “He’s already had enough torture being in that steel box.”
Chitter’s eyes grew big, and bigger, and biggest, until they were as big as WATERMELONS!!! Then, he quickly jumped off Chimpi and helped him get up. Chimpi groaned and rubbed his head. He glared at Chitter. Suddenly, he got a look of recognition in his eyes.
“Hey! Chitter?!” he said in disbelief.
Chitter got a recognition look in his eyes too and chattered something.
Chimpi turned to the others with big eyes and said, “Chitter is my brother. I haven’t seen him in five years!”
“Oh my God!” said Bo, putting a hand over his mouth to fake his surprise. Then he started crying, but his tears evaporated quickly.
“Hell...o...Chimpi...” Chitter struggled to speak.
Everyone gasped and fainted except for Chimpi and Chitter who grinned evilly at each other and parted separate ways. They weren’t brothers at all!
“I’m sorry, Short Blue Guy,” said the chimp. “But that was hilarious!”
“Y-y-yeahh,” Chitter struggled to say. “Chim-Chim...pi l-l-l-lied a-a-about th-the fi-five y-years thingy. W-w-e ac-actu--” Chitter gave up, sighed heavily, and chattered something to Chimpi. Chimpi turned to the others. “He said that I lied about the five years thingy and that we actually know each other because we’re together in something. You know, like a set-- I mean, program.” He looked at Chitter, who nodded.
Tommy nodded and was just about to say something when suddenly...
“HEY YOU! HOW’D YOU GET OUT?!”
Everybody whirled around. In the corner, beyond all the blue shelves and steel boxes, there stood a small, angry brown elephant, with hands on hips. He was standing in the arched doorway with a scowl on his wrinkled face.
It was Crech!
Bo ran over to the blue shelf the box was on. He grabbed it and tried to take it down - but obviously, it was too heavy.
“This weighs like about 9,000 pounds!” he grunted. Zoe stared at Tommy, who looked at Johnny Boy, who glanced at Faysaham, who glared at Mahasyaf, who looked at Chattering Monkey.
Bo turned his head and glared at the others. “Well, what are you waiting for? Help me!”
Tommy sighed. Then he morphed. He had gotten so used to morphing that he could now morph without shaping himself with his hands. All he did was imagine himself as a gigantic hammer, and he morphed into a hammer. After he had morphed, he hopped over, then smashed his face into the steel cage. He smashed again. Then again. Then his head burst into the box. A scream sounded inside the box. Then Tommy’s scream sounded and he leaped out of the box, morphing back to himself in the air.
“Crazy...Nerd...” he gasped, still shaken by his experience. Suddenly the ‘Crazy Nerd’ leaped out of the box. Tommy screamed.
The ‘Crazy Nerd’ appeared to be a chimp with crazy, kinky, reddish orange fur. He glared at Tommy with one eye bigger than the other. “Hey, short blue guy,” he growled, “Thanks a lot. You have a flat top, by the way.”
Tommy drew back in offense. The chimp grinned. “Just kidding. My name is Chimpi.”
Tommy blinked. “How original.”
“I know, right?” said Chimpi. “I would’ve renamed myself if I could. To something more...exotic.”
Chimpi was very tall. He was about 4 1/2 feet tall. “You guys are so small!” he said.
“Well, you try going in Hakrin and deal with the consequences. Then we’ll see who’s small!” Bo argued. Chimpi glared at Bo and made the ‘I’m watching you’ sign.
Chattering Monkey nodded, agreeing with Bo, even though he wasn’t shrunken. Then he started his boxer shuffle. Chimpi started his boxer shuffle too. Then they started to fight. The two chimps rolled on the ground. Chattering Monkey (Chitter for short) gave Chimpi a big, hard whack across his nose. After nursing himself, Chimpi did a sweep kick, tripping Chitter. Chitter screamed and quickly got up. He smashed down Chimpi’s head, then socked him in the stomach. Chimpi wailed and collapsed to the ground, defeated. Chitter leaped onto Chimpi and did a little chittering dance.
“Um...I think that’s enough, Chitter,” said Bo ashamedly. “He’s already had enough torture being in that steel box.”
Chitter’s eyes grew big, and bigger, and biggest, until they were as big as WATERMELONS!!! Then, he quickly jumped off Chimpi and helped him get up. Chimpi groaned and rubbed his head. He glared at Chitter. Suddenly, he got a look of recognition in his eyes.
“Hey! Chitter?!” he said in disbelief.
Chitter got a recognition look in his eyes too and chattered something.
Chimpi turned to the others with big eyes and said, “Chitter is my brother. I haven’t seen him in five years!”
“Oh my God!” said Bo, putting a hand over his mouth to fake his surprise. Then he started crying, but his tears evaporated quickly.
“Hell...o...Chimpi...” Chitter struggled to speak.
Everyone gasped and fainted except for Chimpi and Chitter who grinned evilly at each other and parted separate ways. They weren’t brothers at all!
***
He groaned loudly and rubbed his head. He peered at the others who lay fainted on the dirt ground. He stared at all the shelves and steel blocks that surrounded him. He swiveled around and, standing over him, was a hideously ugly grinning chimp who held out his hand. He clasped the chimp’s hand and hoisted himself up.“I’m sorry, Short Blue Guy,” said the chimp. “But that was hilarious!”
“Y-y-yeahh,” Chitter struggled to say. “Chim-Chim...pi l-l-l-lied a-a-about th-the fi-five y-years thingy. W-w-e ac-actu--” Chitter gave up, sighed heavily, and chattered something to Chimpi. Chimpi turned to the others. “He said that I lied about the five years thingy and that we actually know each other because we’re together in something. You know, like a set-- I mean, program.” He looked at Chitter, who nodded.
Tommy nodded and was just about to say something when suddenly...
“HEY YOU! HOW’D YOU GET OUT?!”
Everybody whirled around. In the corner, beyond all the blue shelves and steel boxes, there stood a small, angry brown elephant, with hands on hips. He was standing in the arched doorway with a scowl on his wrinkled face.
It was Crech!
January 13, 2013
In the Jungle: Chapter 10
Chapter 10
“HELP! I LOST MY BRO AND MY WEIRD FRIENDS!” Faysaham ran around the jungle, yelling like a weirdo.
A python lowered its head above Faysaham’s. “Were you guys at the Hakrin stream?” it asked.
“I suppose so,” said Faysaham. “Why? Can you help me?”
“I think so,” said the python, whose name was Johnny Boy.
Johnny Boy slid down out of the tree he was in, and followed Faysaham to the hateful stream of Hakrin water.
“How long have they been in there?” asked Johnny Boy. “If it’s past 10 minutes, they’re as good as dead.”
“They’ve been there for about eight minutes,” said Faysaham.
*Theme song with scary tone in it starts *
“Well then, I guess I better get them out quickly,” said Johnny. “Us pythons are known for our amazing speed!”
Johnny Boy went for the first to fall in, which was Bo, and shot his head in the brown water. In three seconds, Johnny Boy came back up and tossed Bo on the ground. Then Johnny Boy shot his head in again, and brought Zoe up in four seconds this time. He grunted under Zoe’s weight and tossed her on the ground. Tommy was next, and this time it took Johnny 4.5 seconds. Tommy seemed about 200 pounds, despite his small size. Mahasyaf was last. Johnny dove down. It took him two seconds to grip onto Mahasyaf, and then he slowly hauled Mahasyaf up.
3 - The python strained all his muscles.
2 - They were almost there!
1 - Mahasyaf burst out of the water.
But as for the snake, it floated down, eyes glazed as it settled deep down into the mud.
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Faysaham screamed and lunged forward, again.
He quickly ran around the jungle again and yelled for another python.
“HEAR YE PYTHONS! THOU FELLOW PYTHON HATH SLIPPED INTO HAKRIN STREAM, AND YE MUST SAVE YE FELLOW SPECIES!”
But there were no more. Johnny Boy was the last of them all.
In dismay, Faysaham ran back to the Hakrin stream, just as everybody was coming to. Bo sat up, rubbed his head and groaned. Then Zoe got up and moaned. Then Tommy got up and tested his powers by zapping Faysaham’s buttock. Mahasyaf sat up and leaned back. His bones cracked. Faysaham’s face brightened at this.
“You guys’re all alive!” he exclaimed.
“What happened?” Bo groaned.
“Guys, quick!” Faysaham said suddenly. “Johnny Boy is stuck in the stream of Hakrin!”
“Johnny Boy?” all four creatures asked and moaned at the same time.
“Yes, Johnny Boy, your hero!” Faysaham said, impatiently.
For some reason, everybody suddenly stared at Tommy. They screamed, despite all their moans and groans.
“What?” Tommy croaked. He looked down at himself, and screamed a high-pitched, croaky scream. His body had morphed!
Tommy’s head was shaped like a heart, and weird tubes poked out from the sides of his head. His arms were short and wiggly, and his fingers were very long. His body was small at the top and big at the bottom. And his feet were nothing but short stubs.
“How-how did this happen?” Tommy stammered. “How could this possibly happen?!”
“No time to explain!” Faysaham said, jumping around in impatience. “Johnny Boy must be saved!” He pointed frantically at the stream.
Although they did not know who Faysaham was talking about, Zoe and Bo scampered over to the Hakrin stream. Through the muddy, bubbly, murky water, they could see Johnny Boy.
“We have to be very quick about this,” said Zoe. Bo nodded.
Zoe leaned as forward as she could - while Bo grasped onto her tail tightly - and stretched out an arm to grab Johnny. Her finger touched him, and she edged him a bit closer with her finger until she could finally wrap her paw around him and pull him out. Just as she pulled him out, the muddy hand shot out of the water and grabbed Johnny Boy’s tail.
“AAAIIIEEE!” Zoe screamed. “Everybody, pull! Pull! Pull as hard as you can!”
Everybody snapped into action. Mahasyaf grabbed Bo’s tail, and Faysaham grabbed his brother’s tail, and Tommy was last, since he did not have a tail. Then they all pulled with all their non-existent strength!
“Arrrghhh!” grunted Zoe.
“Unnnnhh!” grunted Bo.
“Errkkkhh!” grunted Mahasyaf.
“Ooooff!” grunted Faysaham.
“Mmmmfff!” grunted Tommy.
With a sharp tug, the snake slipped out of the muddy hand’s grasp, and everybody collapsed on the ground.
Zoe had had her eyes closed tight. Then she slowly opened them. She saw her hand tightly holding a snake, and after gasping, loosened her grip. Then she stood up and put the snake on the ground so she could pull the others up.
All the five creatures stared down at Johnny Boy.
Slowly, Johnny’s eyes unglazed. His skin slowly darkened to a sickly gray color. Then...his gray skin crackled off his body and moved its way all the way down to his tail. Under the sickly gray skin was new, shiny scaly skin! Johnny had shed!
“I feel wunnerful!” said Johnny. “Thank you to whoever got me out!”
“I did,” said Faysaham proudly.
Zoe, Bo, Mahasyaf, and the morphed Tommy drew back in offense. “No you didn’t!” they said.
“I did,” Faysaham repeated, ignoring them. He puffed out his chest and thumped it. Mahasyaf glared at him in fury. An argument flared up, like Mahasyaf’s nose.
“Did not!” said Mahasyaf.
“Did too!” retorted Faysaham.
“Did not!”
“Deed three!”
“Did not! And that’s final!”
Faysaham crossed his arms and stuck out his bottom lip. “I don’t LIKE you!” he whined.
Mahasyaf ignored him and turned to Johnny Boy. “So yeah, anyway, we all got you out.”
“Yeah. Thanks,” Johnny Boy said, staring oddly at Faysaham and trying to hide his amused face.
“I have to go find my friend,” said Bo. Zoe and the morphed Tommy stared oddly at him. Bo narrowed his eyes at them and hissed, “The mission!”
“Ohhh,” Zoe and Tommy mouthed in understanding, nodding their heads.
“Yeah. His name is...umm...Chimpanzee,” Tommy said dumbly.
Bo glared at him.
“You guys can come if you want,” said Zoe. She turned and motioned to Bo and Tommy.
Soon, Zoe, Bo and Tommy found themselves trudging through the jungle, pushing away vines, parting the bushes, and the whole time an annoying, blabbering little cheetah was, well, blabbering.
“So you know, yeah, um...I have really fuzzy fur and you know, my brother called me Kinky. He had smooth fur, so I called him Slick. He didn’t like that so he started fuzzing his fur every second of the day.
“And when one time I went fishing, I caught what my brother called a whopper! I never ever heard of a whopper fish before. Maybe they’re called that because--”
“That’s enough, Faysaham,” said Mahasyaf. “Your stories are really dumb. And they’re sometimes not even true!”
Faysaham glared at him. “You’re not supposed to say that!” he hissed.
“Well, I already did, so it’s too late. No sorry, it’s TOO late!” Mahasyaf said. Suddenly there was a thump.
“AAAIIIEEE!” screamed someone. The someone turned out to be Zoe, who was nowhere to be seen.
“Umm, where’d Zoe go?” asked Mahasyaf.
Bo looked up in the trees...and there she was! She was hanging upside down from a tree branch by her foot, which was tied up with a rope. Despite her gray color, her face was slowly turning red as all the blood rushed to her head. Her face was also frozen in shock.
“Oh....my....God,” Bo said, also in shock. Then he yelled, “Guys! Looks like Zoe walked into a trap! We gotta get her down!”
“All right!” yelled the two cheetahs and Johnny Boy.
Bo rushed over to the tree Zoe was tied to, and he climbed it in most nimbleness. But as he did, a net fell over him. “GAAAAAAHHHH!” he shouted.
Tommy whirled his head around. Bo was sitting in a net, clawing at the ropes.
Mahasyaf ran over to Bo - but just as he took a step...
“AAAAAHHHH!” Mahasyaf was trapped, too! For the third time, he was trapped.
Tommy, Faysaham, and Johnny Boy were the only ones left...to be trapped. They stood stone still. Then, a big net fell around them. They were not surprised.
“Aah,” screamed Faysaham fakely. “I lost my pitiful bro again.”
Then , they heard a chattering laugh from above. Everybody looked up, except Zoe, who couldn’t.
It was the chattering chimp that appeared back in Chapter 3! It laughed crazily and didn’t stop.
“What...a...weirdo,” Zoe managed to say. She hoisted herself up and tried to claw the rope, but she fell down again. She kept hoisting up and clawing until the rope frayed.
“Almost...there..” Zoe grunted. She hoisted up one last time and clawed.
And the rope slowly became thinner and thinner...and thinner...and thinner again....
until it finally broke with a snap!
Zoe sailed down to the ground and landed on the dirt.
THUD!
“Ooohh,” Zoe groaned, rubbing her head. She quickly looked up for the chattering chimp, but then she fell back, eyes closed, flat on her back on the ground.
The chattering chimp’s jaw dropped and his eyes grew as big as grapefruits. Then he jumped around crazily and chattered.
Bo peered down at Zoe, who had blacked out. Zoe’s face was slowly turning from red to a normal gray color.
“Hey, Chattering Chimp! You caught em!” yelled a voice from within the depths of the jungle. The voice’s owner came out from the shadows. It was Retro!
The chattering chimp turned and saw his beautiful master, Retro. “So you caught them all, right?” asked Retro.
The chimp chattered something, then pointed at Zoe on the ground. Retro stared at her, then said, “Well, we’ll take them all back to the dungeon. We’ll leave her here.”
Bo stared in horror at them. They were gonna leave Zoe here! “She’s gotta know about this!” he thought. But he couldn’t find a way to tell her. “She’ll find out later. She’ll find us soon and figure something out,” he thought. He stared at the others and saw looks of dismay on their faces.
Retro walked over to Bo’s net and growled, “You ran away from me the first time, but you’ll never run away again! I fixed the dungeon, by the way.” He chuckled.
Bo scowled.
Retro reached up and took down Bo’s net. Then he slung it over his shoulder.
“Come on kids!” he said. “Let’s go fishin with this here net.”
He grinned with one eye bigger than the other.
Then he guffawed.
“YOU guys?! Fish!? With me? And this joke of a net?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”
The cheetahs looked at him strangely, and tried to run. But lo and behold, the net fell over them both. How sad for a cheetah. Those broz need to get their acceleration up to date.
“Ha, try to run away again, ha, and get killed by this net!” he said again with one eye bigger again. But alas, he hadn’t noticed that Bo had escaped from his net.
“Naa-naa-ne-naa-naaah!” taunted a voice behind him. Retro whirled around and saw Bo dancing and making funny faces at him. Retro repeated his phrase and lurched forward.
“Ha, try to run away again, ha, and get killed by this net!”
Bo grinned, then took a fast step back. Retro lurched forward, then stopped when he saw that Bo had tricked him.
“Ah, just go jump in a lake, smelly brown guy.”
“I think I will. Can you direct me to a lake?” Bo asked.
“Ah, go jump off a cliff.”
“Do you have a parachute?”
“Gunh.”
“I don’t have one, but I sure would like a AK47. I could shoot you down with it.”
“You just try that, and-”
“As I said before, I don’t have one.”
“You creep...”
“I’m a monkey!”
“Sure do smell like it.”
“Well, you smell like turds.”
“You little - ”
“I am actually bigger than the majority of 12 year old monkeys.”
“Yes, I can see that by your flabs, and I’m sure I wouldn’t be surprised by your diet.”
“I’m not on a diet.”
“Well, you sure need one. Are you dumb or something? There’s a school for the mentally challenged I know of.”
“Well you’re returded.”
“That isn’t even a word.”
“Why not?”
“You’re only supposed to talk about stuff in the story.”
“Well, a dotted line below the word returded is in the story. Tommy, if you will?”
Tommy then used his holographic laser to show Retro. Then he left it permanently there, where it floated amazingly.
Retro did a serious facepalm. The chimp chattered next to him.
“Ah, be quiet.” Retro grumbled, slapping the daft chimp’s face. Bo’s face reddened in anger at the injustice towards his fellow monkey. He started his boxer shuffle. The chattering chimp did a boxer shuffle too. Sweat poured down their faces. Their armpits grew soggy. They breathed heavily. Then, Bo leaped out and did a swirling punch at the monkey. The monkey collapsed on the ground, eyes shut. There was a big black, grapefruit-size mark on the chimp’s eye. The monkey groaned and chittered. He held his eye. Then he showed it to Bo and chittered something.
“Ooh, that looks bad,” said Bo. “I’m really quite sorry.” He picked up the eye from the chimp’s hand and washed it in a stream that came from nowhere. Then he shoved it back in the chimp’s socket. The chimp grinned and chittered and jumped.
Retro rolled his eyes again. One moldy eye dropped out, tendons snapping and flapping. Veins hung.
“Ugh, not again,” he grumbled, picking it up, and stuffed it back in his own socket, torn tendons and all. He cupped his hands around his mouth and breathed a breath.
“HOOOO-WEE!” he exclaimed. “Smells like Gorgonzola cheese! How cheesy!”
While all this hygiene checking was going on, Retro didn’t notice that all his captives were gone. Even the smelly, yelly, orange chimp. And even Zoe.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Birds flew out of trees, screeching at the loud yell.
Meanwhile, Bo, Zoe (who had already come back to life) and the others snickered from under their bush. Let me rephrase that - the huge bush.
“That was hilarious! Gorgonzola cheese! Come on la dey!”
“Sure was cheesy!” said Johnny Boy.
Retro growled.
“Come back here! Don’t make me angry! You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry!” With that, he clenched his muscles and roared to the sky. The little wobbly thing at the back of his throat wiggled in fright.
“Let’s split up,” Bo whispered, “then it will be harder for him to find all of us.”
So they all went their own ways. Faysaham and Mahasyaf hid in rabbit holes (big ones) [lol], Zoe, Johnny Boy and Bo scurried up trees, and Tommy stood clearly in a middle of a grassy clearing. Invisible of course. Retro gave up and stomped away to his smelly friends. Seeing this, Bo and Zoe and Tommy suddenly had the same idea.
“Hey! Why is everything so big? I mean, big bushes, big rabbit holes...”
Bo looked grave.
Tommy looked solemn.
Zoe looked normal.
Johnny Boy looked surprised.
Faysaham and Mahasyaf were hugging each other in fright.
“There is only one explanation,” said Bo.
“Yes. One explanation,” said Tommy.
“We have shrunk,” Zoe said normally.
Faysaham and Mahasyaf let out little screams like girls.
Johnny Boy was shocked.
“But how?” he asked.
Tommy again connected to his speedy 4G network and looked at the Hakrin water page. There he saw, at the bottom of the page.
He slapped his left forehead (remember how a heart is shaped, seeing how Tommy is morphed) and read it aloud to the others. They too, slapped their normal foreheads.
“Tommy, you look disgusting,” Zoe said, “and when you slapped your left forehead, the dent stayed.”
“Lol,” said Bo boredly.
“Oh my God!” said Faysaham, just understanding what Tommy had told them.
“You’re so late, Faysaham. Your new name is The Late Faysaham. We’ll call you that from now on. Got that, Narry?” said Bo kindly.
Yes, Bo. Whatever.
The Late Faysaham, TLF for short, pouted in the non-existent corner.
“B-b-b-but-” TLF blubbered sadly.
“No, no it’s just plain TOO LATE. Subject’s out.” said Bo, Zoe, and Tommy in unison.
“You guys are extremely mean and close minded. Literally. You always all say the same thing at the same time.” said Mahasyaf.
“Defendin’ yo’ bro, huh?” they said in unison again. “Well, it ain’t our fault. It’s the narrator’s.”
Mahasyaf snorted. Green snot spurted out of his nose. “Ow!” Mahasyaf said. “My nose hurts.”
“Are you oka-” TLF started.
“Your snot is so green, Mahasyaf. From now on, we’ll call you the Green Mahasyaf. Got that, Narry?” said Bo kindly.
Yes, Bo. Whatever.
Well, the Green Mahasyaf, Grema for short, started protesting.
”Hey, Gramma, where are yo’ wrinkles?” asked Bo.
Grema pouted in the non-existent corner.
TLF cried. “Why do WE have to have names like these?” he wailed.
“You deserve it, that’s why,” said Tommy, trying to be prim with his hands clasped near his morphed abdomen as he couldn’t really reach it because his legs were all short and his torso was all long..
“I believe I must fix this morphedness,” said Tommy. He then grabbed the bottom of his huge torso and pulled it up, hard. His veins bulged. His face turned red. His huge torso slid to the top of his body, and his small torso went down. Now I am Muscle Man! (They always have wide tops. )
Now Tommy’s body was fixed.
“Now, about these fingers and arms of mine.” He mashed his fingers against a wall until they shortened.
“Hey, where’d a wall come from?” asked Zoe. “We’re in the jungle.”
I took it away, Zoe. My imagination put it there.
“Hmph,” said Zoe. “Well, then, don’t listen to your ‘imagination’ !”
How else will the story go on?
“Hmm....however we characters want it to!”
A very bad choice indeed. But that is how it is supposed to go according to the Head. How do you want the story to proceed?
Zoe cleared her throat and said, “Tommy rammed his hand, fingers outstretched, into a tree.”
How very unoriginal Zoe.
Anyways. Go on. SPEAK.
Zoe stared in dismay at the narrator. “I can’t narrate the whole story!”
NO. You must speak. I will narrate as always.
“Huh?”
ENOUGH ARGUMENTS WITH ME.
Tommy grinned proudly as he admired himself in a pool that came out of nowhere.
“Beautifully blue and Martian-shaped!” he exclaimed, holding out a dainty hand. “But my head is still shaped like a heart and my legs are still stubby. Oh, and I still have weird tubes poking out from the sides of my head.”
Tommy then got hold of his right forehead, and squeezed it. His veins bulged. His face turned red. His wimpy muscles strained. BLOOP! His left forehead disappeared! But Tommy’s right forehead felt very heavy. His head sagged. He felt his right forehead. It was HUGE! Lumps hung from it.
“Look what you did Narry!!!!” Tommy bellowed slapping Narry.
Ow, Tommy, you tilted my words.
Bo grabbed Tommy’s leg stubs and pulled them until they stretched. Then he shaped the end of them into the normal boot shape of Tommy’s feet. Tommy grinned even more proudly.
Tommy stood between two trees and whammed the right side of his head into the tree on his right, and did the same with his left. The tubes sank into Tommy’s head. Tommy grinned the proudest. His face shone with oil and sweat.
“I did it all by myself!” he yelled to the jungle. Retro heard him and growled. But alas, he still could not find them. He had got himself stuck in his own dungeon. He roared again and bashed his behiney fiercely. There was a CRACK, and all was lost.
***
The chattering monkey chattered something. Bo, being a monkey too, understood. “He said he knows about a hidden monkey friend. He’s a chimp, too. He could be the one we’re looking for!”
“Oh! Great!” said Zoe. “Why does he only chatter, though? Why doesn’t he, like... you know... talk?”
“Because he wouldn’t be himself if he could talk. His name is Chattering Monkey,” Bo answered.
Bo then turned to the chimp and asked, “So where is this chimp?”
Chattering Monkey chattered something, then ran away. “Hey, Chattering Monkey! Slow down! Don’t leave us!” Bo yelled in dismay. He ran after Chattering Monkey. “He said to follow him. Come on!” Bo yelled to the others.
The others sprinted after him.
When they reached Bo and Chattering Monkey, they found themselves at what seemed like a secret place. There was a circle of trees surrounding a patch of dirt with a pattern of rocks on top. Chattering Monkey motioned the others over. Then he squeezed in through the tree circle. He chattered something.
“He said to come in,” said Bo. So the others squeezed in too - except Grema, who was kind of big, even though he was shrunken. He finally got in.
“So...is the chimp trapped under this dirt?” asked Bo. Chattering Monkey nodded. Then he chattered something.
Bo said, “He said we have to arrange the rocks on top in a certain way. It’s like a code. It will unlock the trap and we can get the chimp out.”
“Well, how should they be arranged?” asked Zoe.
“Use your brain, ding dong,” Bo said. “All we have to do, is look at the patterns on each rock, and arrange them into some kind of shape. Or else ask Tommy, the know-it-all. But we don’t need that kid right now.”
Tommy swelled in offense, but Bo continued on. “See, I’m real good at hard puzzles, so I should know what to do. First of all, we’ve got to get all the rocks lined up neatly. Then we may begin.” Bo efficiently arranged all the rocks scratch-up, (each rock had a dark scratch in it) then inspected them. Then he looked closely. He scratched his head.
“None of these scratches meet each other!” he exclaimed. “It seems that we need you, Tommy.”
Tommy, though still sulking, quickly connected to his 4G connection and searched up ‘weird puzzle rocks’. He got a result.
“Oh my God!” said Tommy, squeezing his cheeks in surprise. To his mighty surprise, his cheeks morphed! He then took hold of his index finger with his left hand, then pulled. Just as he was expecting, it stretched! The other animals looked in amazement. Tommy then had an idea. He went to one of the trees on the side, and rammed his fingers against the tree until they were gone. Then, using his other hand, he carefully pinched the end of his hand and stretched it making it look rather like a large shovel. Using his mind, he hardened his now morphable body. He plunged his shovel hand into the dirt. He dug and dug, until he uncovered a gleaming steel block, 7 feet deep. “Guys, look at this,” he said.
They all peered into the hole.
“Hey! There’s a possibility that the chimp might be down there!” exclaimed TLF dumbly.
The others stared at him with half eyes. “Duhhhh.”
TLF stared back at them in confusion. “Well, amn’t I right?” he asked in pure dismay.
“No, you never are. And ‘amn’t’ isn’t a word. Tommy, if you will?” said Zoe and Bo in unison.
Tommy used his holographic laser to show TLF. The word floated amazingly.
TLF stared up at the word in dismay. “Yeah, yeah, what-evah, bro,” he said, face reddening.
“Uh oh,” the creatures all whispered meekly.
But it was too late.
Bats streamed out from every corner of the hole as lightning flashed and tentacles snaked out from the ground wrapping themselves around the little group. Suddenly, the whole hole smelled of burning skin. Everybody glanced at each other and cried while laughing (tentacle tickling). As their skin burned to crisps, the tentacles tickled and peeled off the crisps until fresh new skin showed beneath. As the fresh skin was exposed, it too, started to burn. It was revolting.
“This is like HELL!” Grema managed to choke out from his uncontrollable laughter.
Suddenly, the Head butted in.
Head: Narry, you should stop calling those cheetahs awful names. Even though they deserve it, it’s still mean. So please, from now on it’s Faysaham and Mahasyaf. If that’s too hard for your wimpy self to do, then-
“I second that!” Grema and TLF yelled.
Head: Narry...
Narry: ...Excuse me; ...Mahasyaf and Faysaham yelled.
Head: Very good. Continue.
As skin burned, everyone screamed and laughed awfully. Soon, it was increased to a cackle and a wail, and then, it was increased to evil laughter and sad bellowing. The six creatures had become evil from the constant punishment.
“How long does this laaaast?!” Johnny Boy chuckled.
Suddenly, everything stopped. The hairy tentacles sucked back into the dirt wall. The bats flew away, squeaking. The lightning bolts jumped away. The sickly, green-blue light brightened to a light blue. A voice boomed from within the depths of the dirt walls.
“YOU HAVE SURVIVED THE DANGER. YOU MAY NOW PROCEED INTO THE BLUE DOOR ON YOUR RIGHT. ”
Then there was a rumble, and a blue door suddenly appeared on the creatures’ right. The door was robin’s egg blue in color, like Zoe’s eyes, and it was bordered with glitter. Embedded in the door was a shiny, blue metal frog.
Bo had a daft look on his face. Then he stared down at his skin. “AAAAAAUGHH!” he screamed, chokingly. His skin was black, and skin was peeling off, uncovering flesh and protruding bones.
Everybody else looked at their skin too, and screamed. “Eeekh!”
“Let’s take a peek in that blue door...muahahahaaa,” said Zoe evilly. (She was still evil from the constant punishment.)
Johnny Boy slithered over to the door, followed by the others, who were kind of drunk.
Zoe opened the door with a blackened, burnt paw - and a gust of cold, blue dry ice swept over them. It covered them for five minutes and then it faded away.
Everybody stared at themselves. Instead of blackened, burnt skin and protruding bones, there was a replacement of new skin, unblackened. No protruding bones. Everybody was no longer evil.
“Ooh! That was great!” exclaimed Zoe, rubbing her arm. There was a ripping sound when the skin peeled off the flesh. Zoe’s eyes opened wide, but Bo ignored her.
“Well, let’s go inside this door!” Bo said. He strutted proudly into the room. He saw hundreds of boxes - steel boxes. In the corner, beyond all the shelves and boxes, was an arched door. Bo spotted one steel box that shook crazily on a blue shelf. Angry chitters were heard from inside.
“It’s the chimp!” Bo said. “The trapped chimp!”
“HELP! I LOST MY BRO AND MY WEIRD FRIENDS!” Faysaham ran around the jungle, yelling like a weirdo.
A python lowered its head above Faysaham’s. “Were you guys at the Hakrin stream?” it asked.
“I suppose so,” said Faysaham. “Why? Can you help me?”
“I think so,” said the python, whose name was Johnny Boy.
Johnny Boy slid down out of the tree he was in, and followed Faysaham to the hateful stream of Hakrin water.
“How long have they been in there?” asked Johnny Boy. “If it’s past 10 minutes, they’re as good as dead.”
“They’ve been there for about eight minutes,” said Faysaham.
*Theme song with scary tone in it starts *
“Well then, I guess I better get them out quickly,” said Johnny. “Us pythons are known for our amazing speed!”
Johnny Boy went for the first to fall in, which was Bo, and shot his head in the brown water. In three seconds, Johnny Boy came back up and tossed Bo on the ground. Then Johnny Boy shot his head in again, and brought Zoe up in four seconds this time. He grunted under Zoe’s weight and tossed her on the ground. Tommy was next, and this time it took Johnny 4.5 seconds. Tommy seemed about 200 pounds, despite his small size. Mahasyaf was last. Johnny dove down. It took him two seconds to grip onto Mahasyaf, and then he slowly hauled Mahasyaf up.
3 - The python strained all his muscles.
2 - They were almost there!
1 - Mahasyaf burst out of the water.
But as for the snake, it floated down, eyes glazed as it settled deep down into the mud.
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Faysaham screamed and lunged forward, again.
He quickly ran around the jungle again and yelled for another python.
“HEAR YE PYTHONS! THOU FELLOW PYTHON HATH SLIPPED INTO HAKRIN STREAM, AND YE MUST SAVE YE FELLOW SPECIES!”
But there were no more. Johnny Boy was the last of them all.
In dismay, Faysaham ran back to the Hakrin stream, just as everybody was coming to. Bo sat up, rubbed his head and groaned. Then Zoe got up and moaned. Then Tommy got up and tested his powers by zapping Faysaham’s buttock. Mahasyaf sat up and leaned back. His bones cracked. Faysaham’s face brightened at this.
“You guys’re all alive!” he exclaimed.
“What happened?” Bo groaned.
“Guys, quick!” Faysaham said suddenly. “Johnny Boy is stuck in the stream of Hakrin!”
“Johnny Boy?” all four creatures asked and moaned at the same time.
“Yes, Johnny Boy, your hero!” Faysaham said, impatiently.
For some reason, everybody suddenly stared at Tommy. They screamed, despite all their moans and groans.
“What?” Tommy croaked. He looked down at himself, and screamed a high-pitched, croaky scream. His body had morphed!
Tommy’s head was shaped like a heart, and weird tubes poked out from the sides of his head. His arms were short and wiggly, and his fingers were very long. His body was small at the top and big at the bottom. And his feet were nothing but short stubs.
“How-how did this happen?” Tommy stammered. “How could this possibly happen?!”
“No time to explain!” Faysaham said, jumping around in impatience. “Johnny Boy must be saved!” He pointed frantically at the stream.
Although they did not know who Faysaham was talking about, Zoe and Bo scampered over to the Hakrin stream. Through the muddy, bubbly, murky water, they could see Johnny Boy.
“We have to be very quick about this,” said Zoe. Bo nodded.
Zoe leaned as forward as she could - while Bo grasped onto her tail tightly - and stretched out an arm to grab Johnny. Her finger touched him, and she edged him a bit closer with her finger until she could finally wrap her paw around him and pull him out. Just as she pulled him out, the muddy hand shot out of the water and grabbed Johnny Boy’s tail.
“AAAIIIEEE!” Zoe screamed. “Everybody, pull! Pull! Pull as hard as you can!”
Everybody snapped into action. Mahasyaf grabbed Bo’s tail, and Faysaham grabbed his brother’s tail, and Tommy was last, since he did not have a tail. Then they all pulled with all their non-existent strength!
“Arrrghhh!” grunted Zoe.
“Unnnnhh!” grunted Bo.
“Errkkkhh!” grunted Mahasyaf.
“Ooooff!” grunted Faysaham.
“Mmmmfff!” grunted Tommy.
With a sharp tug, the snake slipped out of the muddy hand’s grasp, and everybody collapsed on the ground.
Zoe had had her eyes closed tight. Then she slowly opened them. She saw her hand tightly holding a snake, and after gasping, loosened her grip. Then she stood up and put the snake on the ground so she could pull the others up.
All the five creatures stared down at Johnny Boy.
Slowly, Johnny’s eyes unglazed. His skin slowly darkened to a sickly gray color. Then...his gray skin crackled off his body and moved its way all the way down to his tail. Under the sickly gray skin was new, shiny scaly skin! Johnny had shed!
“I feel wunnerful!” said Johnny. “Thank you to whoever got me out!”
“I did,” said Faysaham proudly.
Zoe, Bo, Mahasyaf, and the morphed Tommy drew back in offense. “No you didn’t!” they said.
“I did,” Faysaham repeated, ignoring them. He puffed out his chest and thumped it. Mahasyaf glared at him in fury. An argument flared up, like Mahasyaf’s nose.
“Did not!” said Mahasyaf.
“Did too!” retorted Faysaham.
“Did not!”
“Deed three!”
“Did not! And that’s final!”
Faysaham crossed his arms and stuck out his bottom lip. “I don’t LIKE you!” he whined.
Mahasyaf ignored him and turned to Johnny Boy. “So yeah, anyway, we all got you out.”
“Yeah. Thanks,” Johnny Boy said, staring oddly at Faysaham and trying to hide his amused face.
“I have to go find my friend,” said Bo. Zoe and the morphed Tommy stared oddly at him. Bo narrowed his eyes at them and hissed, “The mission!”
“Ohhh,” Zoe and Tommy mouthed in understanding, nodding their heads.
“Yeah. His name is...umm...Chimpanzee,” Tommy said dumbly.
Bo glared at him.
“You guys can come if you want,” said Zoe. She turned and motioned to Bo and Tommy.
Soon, Zoe, Bo and Tommy found themselves trudging through the jungle, pushing away vines, parting the bushes, and the whole time an annoying, blabbering little cheetah was, well, blabbering.
“So you know, yeah, um...I have really fuzzy fur and you know, my brother called me Kinky. He had smooth fur, so I called him Slick. He didn’t like that so he started fuzzing his fur every second of the day.
“And when one time I went fishing, I caught what my brother called a whopper! I never ever heard of a whopper fish before. Maybe they’re called that because--”
“That’s enough, Faysaham,” said Mahasyaf. “Your stories are really dumb. And they’re sometimes not even true!”
Faysaham glared at him. “You’re not supposed to say that!” he hissed.
“Well, I already did, so it’s too late. No sorry, it’s TOO late!” Mahasyaf said. Suddenly there was a thump.
“AAAIIIEEE!” screamed someone. The someone turned out to be Zoe, who was nowhere to be seen.
“Umm, where’d Zoe go?” asked Mahasyaf.
Bo looked up in the trees...and there she was! She was hanging upside down from a tree branch by her foot, which was tied up with a rope. Despite her gray color, her face was slowly turning red as all the blood rushed to her head. Her face was also frozen in shock.
“Oh....my....God,” Bo said, also in shock. Then he yelled, “Guys! Looks like Zoe walked into a trap! We gotta get her down!”
“All right!” yelled the two cheetahs and Johnny Boy.
Bo rushed over to the tree Zoe was tied to, and he climbed it in most nimbleness. But as he did, a net fell over him. “GAAAAAAHHHH!” he shouted.
Tommy whirled his head around. Bo was sitting in a net, clawing at the ropes.
Mahasyaf ran over to Bo - but just as he took a step...
“AAAAAHHHH!” Mahasyaf was trapped, too! For the third time, he was trapped.
Tommy, Faysaham, and Johnny Boy were the only ones left...to be trapped. They stood stone still. Then, a big net fell around them. They were not surprised.
“Aah,” screamed Faysaham fakely. “I lost my pitiful bro again.”
Then , they heard a chattering laugh from above. Everybody looked up, except Zoe, who couldn’t.
It was the chattering chimp that appeared back in Chapter 3! It laughed crazily and didn’t stop.
“What...a...weirdo,” Zoe managed to say. She hoisted herself up and tried to claw the rope, but she fell down again. She kept hoisting up and clawing until the rope frayed.
“Almost...there..” Zoe grunted. She hoisted up one last time and clawed.
And the rope slowly became thinner and thinner...and thinner...and thinner again....
until it finally broke with a snap!
Zoe sailed down to the ground and landed on the dirt.
THUD!
“Ooohh,” Zoe groaned, rubbing her head. She quickly looked up for the chattering chimp, but then she fell back, eyes closed, flat on her back on the ground.
The chattering chimp’s jaw dropped and his eyes grew as big as grapefruits. Then he jumped around crazily and chattered.
Bo peered down at Zoe, who had blacked out. Zoe’s face was slowly turning from red to a normal gray color.
“Hey, Chattering Chimp! You caught em!” yelled a voice from within the depths of the jungle. The voice’s owner came out from the shadows. It was Retro!
The chattering chimp turned and saw his beautiful master, Retro. “So you caught them all, right?” asked Retro.
The chimp chattered something, then pointed at Zoe on the ground. Retro stared at her, then said, “Well, we’ll take them all back to the dungeon. We’ll leave her here.”
Bo stared in horror at them. They were gonna leave Zoe here! “She’s gotta know about this!” he thought. But he couldn’t find a way to tell her. “She’ll find out later. She’ll find us soon and figure something out,” he thought. He stared at the others and saw looks of dismay on their faces.
Retro walked over to Bo’s net and growled, “You ran away from me the first time, but you’ll never run away again! I fixed the dungeon, by the way.” He chuckled.
Bo scowled.
Retro reached up and took down Bo’s net. Then he slung it over his shoulder.
“Come on kids!” he said. “Let’s go fishin with this here net.”
He grinned with one eye bigger than the other.
Then he guffawed.
“YOU guys?! Fish!? With me? And this joke of a net?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”
The cheetahs looked at him strangely, and tried to run. But lo and behold, the net fell over them both. How sad for a cheetah. Those broz need to get their acceleration up to date.
“Ha, try to run away again, ha, and get killed by this net!” he said again with one eye bigger again. But alas, he hadn’t noticed that Bo had escaped from his net.
“Naa-naa-ne-naa-naaah!” taunted a voice behind him. Retro whirled around and saw Bo dancing and making funny faces at him. Retro repeated his phrase and lurched forward.
“Ha, try to run away again, ha, and get killed by this net!”
Bo grinned, then took a fast step back. Retro lurched forward, then stopped when he saw that Bo had tricked him.
“Ah, just go jump in a lake, smelly brown guy.”
“I think I will. Can you direct me to a lake?” Bo asked.
“Ah, go jump off a cliff.”
“Do you have a parachute?”
“Gunh.”
“I don’t have one, but I sure would like a AK47. I could shoot you down with it.”
“You just try that, and-”
“As I said before, I don’t have one.”
“You creep...”
“I’m a monkey!”
“Sure do smell like it.”
“Well, you smell like turds.”
“You little - ”
“I am actually bigger than the majority of 12 year old monkeys.”
“Yes, I can see that by your flabs, and I’m sure I wouldn’t be surprised by your diet.”
“I’m not on a diet.”
“Well, you sure need one. Are you dumb or something? There’s a school for the mentally challenged I know of.”
“Well you’re returded.”
“That isn’t even a word.”
“Oh, is that why there’s a red dotted line under it?”
“You’re not supposed to say that, I think.”“Why not?”
“You’re only supposed to talk about stuff in the story.”
“Well, a dotted line below the word returded is in the story. Tommy, if you will?”
Tommy then used his holographic laser to show Retro. Then he left it permanently there, where it floated amazingly.
Retro did a serious facepalm. The chimp chattered next to him.
“Ah, be quiet.” Retro grumbled, slapping the daft chimp’s face. Bo’s face reddened in anger at the injustice towards his fellow monkey. He started his boxer shuffle. The chattering chimp did a boxer shuffle too. Sweat poured down their faces. Their armpits grew soggy. They breathed heavily. Then, Bo leaped out and did a swirling punch at the monkey. The monkey collapsed on the ground, eyes shut. There was a big black, grapefruit-size mark on the chimp’s eye. The monkey groaned and chittered. He held his eye. Then he showed it to Bo and chittered something.
“Ooh, that looks bad,” said Bo. “I’m really quite sorry.” He picked up the eye from the chimp’s hand and washed it in a stream that came from nowhere. Then he shoved it back in the chimp’s socket. The chimp grinned and chittered and jumped.
Retro rolled his eyes again. One moldy eye dropped out, tendons snapping and flapping. Veins hung.
“Ugh, not again,” he grumbled, picking it up, and stuffed it back in his own socket, torn tendons and all. He cupped his hands around his mouth and breathed a breath.
“HOOOO-WEE!” he exclaimed. “Smells like Gorgonzola cheese! How cheesy!”
While all this hygiene checking was going on, Retro didn’t notice that all his captives were gone. Even the smelly, yelly, orange chimp. And even Zoe.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Birds flew out of trees, screeching at the loud yell.
Meanwhile, Bo, Zoe (who had already come back to life) and the others snickered from under their bush. Let me rephrase that - the huge bush.
“That was hilarious! Gorgonzola cheese! Come on la dey!”
“Sure was cheesy!” said Johnny Boy.
Retro growled.
“Come back here! Don’t make me angry! You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry!” With that, he clenched his muscles and roared to the sky. The little wobbly thing at the back of his throat wiggled in fright.
“Let’s split up,” Bo whispered, “then it will be harder for him to find all of us.”
So they all went their own ways. Faysaham and Mahasyaf hid in rabbit holes (big ones) [lol], Zoe, Johnny Boy and Bo scurried up trees, and Tommy stood clearly in a middle of a grassy clearing. Invisible of course. Retro gave up and stomped away to his smelly friends. Seeing this, Bo and Zoe and Tommy suddenly had the same idea.
“We plan, to save the world!” They all yelled, pumping their fists in the air.
The others stared strangely, but the three weirdos acted as if they hadn’t done anything out of the ordinary. They all suddenly realized something. “Hey! Why is everything so big? I mean, big bushes, big rabbit holes...”
Bo looked grave.
Tommy looked solemn.
Zoe looked normal.
Johnny Boy looked surprised.
Faysaham and Mahasyaf were hugging each other in fright.
“There is only one explanation,” said Bo.
“Yes. One explanation,” said Tommy.
“We have shrunk,” Zoe said normally.
Faysaham and Mahasyaf let out little screams like girls.
Johnny Boy was shocked.
“But how?” he asked.
Tommy again connected to his speedy 4G network and looked at the Hakrin water page. There he saw, at the bottom of the page.
UPDATE: After some research today, our researchers have also found out that Hakrin water has another strange effect on non-humans. Research shows that it shrinks all non humans down to one-fourth of their size.
**A more recent update shows that it has even stranger effects on aliens. They are already smaller than usual, so instead of being shrunk, they morph into human body part shapes. Some Uranians have been known to transform into bladder shapes.
He slapped his left forehead (remember how a heart is shaped, seeing how Tommy is morphed) and read it aloud to the others. They too, slapped their normal foreheads.
“Tommy, you look disgusting,” Zoe said, “and when you slapped your left forehead, the dent stayed.”
“Lol,” said Bo boredly.
“Oh my God!” said Faysaham, just understanding what Tommy had told them.
“You’re so late, Faysaham. Your new name is The Late Faysaham. We’ll call you that from now on. Got that, Narry?” said Bo kindly.
Yes, Bo. Whatever.
The Late Faysaham, TLF for short, pouted in the non-existent corner.
“B-b-b-but-” TLF blubbered sadly.
“No, no it’s just plain TOO LATE. Subject’s out.” said Bo, Zoe, and Tommy in unison.
“You guys are extremely mean and close minded. Literally. You always all say the same thing at the same time.” said Mahasyaf.
“Defendin’ yo’ bro, huh?” they said in unison again. “Well, it ain’t our fault. It’s the narrator’s.”
Mahasyaf snorted. Green snot spurted out of his nose. “Ow!” Mahasyaf said. “My nose hurts.”
“Are you oka-” TLF started.
“Your snot is so green, Mahasyaf. From now on, we’ll call you the Green Mahasyaf. Got that, Narry?” said Bo kindly.
Yes, Bo. Whatever.
Well, the Green Mahasyaf, Grema for short, started protesting.
”Hey, Gramma, where are yo’ wrinkles?” asked Bo.
Grema pouted in the non-existent corner.
TLF cried. “Why do WE have to have names like these?” he wailed.
“You deserve it, that’s why,” said Tommy, trying to be prim with his hands clasped near his morphed abdomen as he couldn’t really reach it because his legs were all short and his torso was all long..
“I believe I must fix this morphedness,” said Tommy. He then grabbed the bottom of his huge torso and pulled it up, hard. His veins bulged. His face turned red. His huge torso slid to the top of his body, and his small torso went down. Now I am Muscle Man! (They always have wide tops. )
Now Tommy’s body was fixed.
“Now, about these fingers and arms of mine.” He mashed his fingers against a wall until they shortened.
“Hey, where’d a wall come from?” asked Zoe. “We’re in the jungle.”
I took it away, Zoe. My imagination put it there.
“Hmph,” said Zoe. “Well, then, don’t listen to your ‘imagination’ !”
How else will the story go on?
“Hmm....however we characters want it to!”
A very bad choice indeed. But that is how it is supposed to go according to the Head. How do you want the story to proceed?
Zoe cleared her throat and said, “Tommy rammed his hand, fingers outstretched, into a tree.”
How very unoriginal Zoe.
Anyways. Go on. SPEAK.
Zoe stared in dismay at the narrator. “I can’t narrate the whole story!”
NO. You must speak. I will narrate as always.
“Huh?”
ENOUGH ARGUMENTS WITH ME.
Tommy grinned proudly as he admired himself in a pool that came out of nowhere.
“Beautifully blue and Martian-shaped!” he exclaimed, holding out a dainty hand. “But my head is still shaped like a heart and my legs are still stubby. Oh, and I still have weird tubes poking out from the sides of my head.”
Tommy then got hold of his right forehead, and squeezed it. His veins bulged. His face turned red. His wimpy muscles strained. BLOOP! His left forehead disappeared! But Tommy’s right forehead felt very heavy. His head sagged. He felt his right forehead. It was HUGE! Lumps hung from it.
“Look what you did Narry!!!!” Tommy bellowed slapping Narry.
Ow, Tommy, you tilted my words.
Bo grabbed Tommy’s leg stubs and pulled them until they stretched. Then he shaped the end of them into the normal boot shape of Tommy’s feet. Tommy grinned even more proudly.
Tommy stood between two trees and whammed the right side of his head into the tree on his right, and did the same with his left. The tubes sank into Tommy’s head. Tommy grinned the proudest. His face shone with oil and sweat.
“I did it all by myself!” he yelled to the jungle. Retro heard him and growled. But alas, he still could not find them. He had got himself stuck in his own dungeon. He roared again and bashed his behiney fiercely. There was a CRACK, and all was lost.
***
The chattering monkey chattered something. Bo, being a monkey too, understood. “He said he knows about a hidden monkey friend. He’s a chimp, too. He could be the one we’re looking for!”
“Oh! Great!” said Zoe. “Why does he only chatter, though? Why doesn’t he, like... you know... talk?”
“Because he wouldn’t be himself if he could talk. His name is Chattering Monkey,” Bo answered.
Bo then turned to the chimp and asked, “So where is this chimp?”
Chattering Monkey chattered something, then ran away. “Hey, Chattering Monkey! Slow down! Don’t leave us!” Bo yelled in dismay. He ran after Chattering Monkey. “He said to follow him. Come on!” Bo yelled to the others.
The others sprinted after him.
When they reached Bo and Chattering Monkey, they found themselves at what seemed like a secret place. There was a circle of trees surrounding a patch of dirt with a pattern of rocks on top. Chattering Monkey motioned the others over. Then he squeezed in through the tree circle. He chattered something.
“He said to come in,” said Bo. So the others squeezed in too - except Grema, who was kind of big, even though he was shrunken. He finally got in.
“So...is the chimp trapped under this dirt?” asked Bo. Chattering Monkey nodded. Then he chattered something.
Bo said, “He said we have to arrange the rocks on top in a certain way. It’s like a code. It will unlock the trap and we can get the chimp out.”
“Well, how should they be arranged?” asked Zoe.
“Use your brain, ding dong,” Bo said. “All we have to do, is look at the patterns on each rock, and arrange them into some kind of shape. Or else ask Tommy, the know-it-all. But we don’t need that kid right now.”
Tommy swelled in offense, but Bo continued on. “See, I’m real good at hard puzzles, so I should know what to do. First of all, we’ve got to get all the rocks lined up neatly. Then we may begin.” Bo efficiently arranged all the rocks scratch-up, (each rock had a dark scratch in it) then inspected them. Then he looked closely. He scratched his head.
“None of these scratches meet each other!” he exclaimed. “It seems that we need you, Tommy.”
Tommy, though still sulking, quickly connected to his 4G connection and searched up ‘weird puzzle rocks’. He got a result.
Weird Puzzle Rocks
One of the hardest puzzles in the world, Weird Puzzle Rocks is a puzzle that has 5 different pieces that come in 5 different kinds of scratches, from very deep, D1, to shallow, D6. The other difficult thing about Weird Puzzle Rocks is that they are complete squares, with no little knobs to connect them. When puzzle is finished, it makes a symbol in an unknown language that most of our astrologers believe it says ‘OPEN’. Puzzle Rocks are very rarely found, but when they are, there is always danger. A more recent study shows that once you get into a Weird Puzzle Rock zone, you are locked in until you complete the puzzle or survive the danger that will come after not completing the puzzle within around 20 minutes.
“Oh my God!” said Tommy, squeezing his cheeks in surprise. To his mighty surprise, his cheeks morphed! He then took hold of his index finger with his left hand, then pulled. Just as he was expecting, it stretched! The other animals looked in amazement. Tommy then had an idea. He went to one of the trees on the side, and rammed his fingers against the tree until they were gone. Then, using his other hand, he carefully pinched the end of his hand and stretched it making it look rather like a large shovel. Using his mind, he hardened his now morphable body. He plunged his shovel hand into the dirt. He dug and dug, until he uncovered a gleaming steel block, 7 feet deep. “Guys, look at this,” he said.
They all peered into the hole.
“Hey! There’s a possibility that the chimp might be down there!” exclaimed TLF dumbly.
The others stared at him with half eyes. “Duhhhh.”
TLF stared back at them in confusion. “Well, amn’t I right?” he asked in pure dismay.
“No, you never are. And ‘amn’t’ isn’t a word. Tommy, if you will?” said Zoe and Bo in unison.
Tommy used his holographic laser to show TLF. The word floated amazingly.
TLF stared up at the word in dismay. “Yeah, yeah, what-evah, bro,” he said, face reddening.
Tommy rolled his eyes and continued shoveling. Or should I say digging. He finally made the hole big enough for them all to fit in.
“Okay, fatties, hop in!” he said.
Then, when everyone hopped in, he morphed his hand into a hammer. Then, with his old powers, he lit up his hammer hand with fire and started smashing the iron cage with his burning hammer. The iron, melted and dented, finally made a hole big enough for them to enter. But before they could go inside, two big animals leaped out at them. Quick as the wind, Tommy morphed both of his hands into swords, materialized himself to metal, and slashed at the two animals. They screamed in pain and ran out into the clearing. Then, there was a rumble. It has been only 20 minutes since they entered the weird puzzle rock zone, and the danger was here. Suddenly, they were all surrounded by a bright white light. They all squeezed their eyes shut in pain. Then, the whole place started to shake. A hairy tentacle shot out of the dirt wall, wiggling nastily.
Everybody carefully opened their eyes. It was still bright, but in the brightness, they could make out the nasty tentacle. Then, the bright white light darkened to a sickly, nasty blue-green. Everybody opened their eyes fully, and gazed at the light. They barfed immediately.
“Eww!! Ugly!! I thought it was bright and white!!!” Everyone squealed like girls, eyes shut again. Then their eyes popped open again and they gazed lovingly into each other’s eyes. And then.....nastiness...happened. Narry could not control himself. He burst out laughing.
Head: NARRY!!! You know it is against the rules of narrating to put nastiness in this story and LIE!!! Rewrite! I will now cross it out.
So now Narry, chastised, narrated again.
...Everybody popped open their eyes again and squinted against the hideous light.
“What’s up with this light, man?” TLF asked, uglily.
“I don’t know, man.” Tommy answered, “Lemme check ma 4G network again, man.”
“WoMan...” replied TLF.
Tommy did a quick search on lights.
Ultra-Violet (C) Light
There are three types of UV rays, UVA, UVB, and UVC. Although UV light is invisible to humans, it is very dangerous to be exposed to it, especially UVC. In some fictitious jungles, UVC is known to be a sickly, nasty, blue-green color. Victims of UVC light have experienced skin redness and eye irritation. The most dangerous thing about this light is that it highly energetic and can burn skin.
Tommy suddenly felt nauseous. He felt his skin darken.
“Uh...hey man, what’s wrong with you, man?” TLF asked.
Tommy weakly put out a holograph showing the results he had just found.
After reading it all, everybody’s mouths opened wide into a big ‘O’.
Ultra-Violet (C) Light
There are three types of UV rays, UVA, UVB, and UVC. Although UV light is invisible to humans, it is very dangerous to be exposed to it, especially UVC. In some fictitious jungles, UVC is known to be a sickly, nasty, blue-green color. Victims of UVC light have experienced skin redness and eye irritation. The most dangerous thing about this light is that it’s highly energetic and can burn skin.
“OH MY GOD!” they all screamed.
Tommy searched again on his network and found another fact about lights.
Loud Sounds
If a victim of any of these lights makes a very loud sound, such as screaming, things are expected to happen. Small, winged animals might make an attack, and there is a high probability of a lightning bolt war or hairy tentacle tickling-to-death.
“Uh oh,” the creatures all whispered meekly.
But it was too late.
Bats streamed out from every corner of the hole as lightning flashed and tentacles snaked out from the ground wrapping themselves around the little group. Suddenly, the whole hole smelled of burning skin. Everybody glanced at each other and cried while laughing (tentacle tickling). As their skin burned to crisps, the tentacles tickled and peeled off the crisps until fresh new skin showed beneath. As the fresh skin was exposed, it too, started to burn. It was revolting.
“This is like HELL!” Grema managed to choke out from his uncontrollable laughter.
Suddenly, the Head butted in.
Head: Narry, you should stop calling those cheetahs awful names. Even though they deserve it, it’s still mean. So please, from now on it’s Faysaham and Mahasyaf. If that’s too hard for your wimpy self to do, then-
“I second that!” Grema and TLF yelled.
Head: Narry...
Narry: ...Excuse me; ...Mahasyaf and Faysaham yelled.
Head: Very good. Continue.
As skin burned, everyone screamed and laughed awfully. Soon, it was increased to a cackle and a wail, and then, it was increased to evil laughter and sad bellowing. The six creatures had become evil from the constant punishment.
“How long does this laaaast?!” Johnny Boy chuckled.
Suddenly, everything stopped. The hairy tentacles sucked back into the dirt wall. The bats flew away, squeaking. The lightning bolts jumped away. The sickly, green-blue light brightened to a light blue. A voice boomed from within the depths of the dirt walls.
“YOU HAVE SURVIVED THE DANGER. YOU MAY NOW PROCEED INTO THE BLUE DOOR ON YOUR RIGHT. ”
Then there was a rumble, and a blue door suddenly appeared on the creatures’ right. The door was robin’s egg blue in color, like Zoe’s eyes, and it was bordered with glitter. Embedded in the door was a shiny, blue metal frog.
Bo had a daft look on his face. Then he stared down at his skin. “AAAAAAUGHH!” he screamed, chokingly. His skin was black, and skin was peeling off, uncovering flesh and protruding bones.
Everybody else looked at their skin too, and screamed. “Eeekh!”
“Let’s take a peek in that blue door...muahahahaaa,” said Zoe evilly. (She was still evil from the constant punishment.)
Johnny Boy slithered over to the door, followed by the others, who were kind of drunk.
Zoe opened the door with a blackened, burnt paw - and a gust of cold, blue dry ice swept over them. It covered them for five minutes and then it faded away.
Everybody stared at themselves. Instead of blackened, burnt skin and protruding bones, there was a replacement of new skin, unblackened. No protruding bones. Everybody was no longer evil.
“Ooh! That was great!” exclaimed Zoe, rubbing her arm. There was a ripping sound when the skin peeled off the flesh. Zoe’s eyes opened wide, but Bo ignored her.
“Well, let’s go inside this door!” Bo said. He strutted proudly into the room. He saw hundreds of boxes - steel boxes. In the corner, beyond all the shelves and boxes, was an arched door. Bo spotted one steel box that shook crazily on a blue shelf. Angry chitters were heard from inside.
“It’s the chimp!” Bo said. “The trapped chimp!”
January 6, 2013
In the Jungle: Chapter 9
Chapter 9
Tommy gasped. He quickly connected to his built in phone and dialed 911.
“Something went on in his brain, I should think,” Mahasyaf answered.
“Hmm...if only we knew,” said Faysaham.
“Maybe it’s the water!” Mahasyaf said. He walked over to it and started to peek in through the Hakrin water.
“No, DON’T!” Faysaham screamed as he lunged forward to save his pitiful bro. Mahasyaf struggled out of Faysaham’s grasp.
“You didn’t have to - WHOA!”
To make the story short, Mahasyaf slipped.
To make it longer, let us make it slow motion. Mahasyaf’s mouth slowly opened wide.
“W-W-W-W-W-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-OA!”
Oops, I accidentally pressed play. Let us do slow-mo again.
Mahasyaf’s lips wobbled as he screamed. His legs slowly slipped out from under him. Faysaham’s arms slowly reached out as he yelled. Maysahaf reached for Faysaham. their paws brushed, but all was lost. Maysahaf splashed into the murky depths of the water.
“NO! NOOOOOOOOO!” Faysaham howled.
He ran over to the stream and, almost slipping in himself, he peered in the brown, bubbly stream. But alas, Faysaham was the only creature left, staring in grief at the murky, muddy, bubbly Hakrin water.
“That muddy hand kidnapped them!” Tommy screamed. “If I were to go down there too, I’ll be gone for eternity! I’ve got to find out what’s down there!”
Tommy used his X-Ray Vision to map the muddy stream floor. He saw John on a lily pad, having the time of his life, like a cockroach.
“Hey guys! I see John!”
The two cheetahs looked strangely at him.
“Who is John?”
He’s nobody, my friends.
“What?” the three remaining characters stared up at the narrator, who stopped narrating a bit for a cup o’ coffee.
I said, he’s nobody.
“Well then, why did you put that part in the story?” asked Tommy.
I don’t know. Just my fun imagination. Let’s cut that part out a bit, shall we?
“We sha--” Tommy was cut off by the weird sound of rewinding.
ZZZZUZZZZUZUUZZZZZUZZZZZUUZZZUT!
Tommy used his X-Ray Vision to map the muddy stream floor. He saw a hastily dug hole in the nasty, liquid-like peanut butter mud with brown bubbles floating and popping out of it. Then, he saw gray! Zoe was lying on the bottom of the stream - knocked out cold, and a few feet away, so was Bo. Tommy did a quick search on the 4G network in his brain.
Hakrin
Hakrin water is formed from when water touches hakrin, a brown substance. Many people mistake Hakrin for mud, but in reality it isn’t. When Hakrin touches water, the water’s molecules get morphed and the Hakrin contaminates the water. Hakrin is known to be a deadly poison which first knocks someone unconscious after 5 seconds exposure to it, then kills from 10 - 30 minutes. If you see someone who is unconscious from Hakrin water, then immediately call 911 for help.
Tommy gasped. He quickly connected to his built in phone and dialed 911.
BZZZT!
Tommy gasped. His ear was still ringing. He looked at the built-in phone.
NO MARTIAN MOBILE SERVICE. PLEASE FIND ANOTHER AREA AT LEAST 200 MILES FROM WHERE YOU ARE AND TRY AGAIN.
Tommy gasped for the third time. Then he peered in the water. Suddenly he felt strange. He ignored the strange feeling... Then he had an idea. Maybe he could use his telekinetic powers to bring Bo and Zoe out of the water! He reached out with a telekinetic ray, then realized that it wasn’t working! Tommy gasped. Then he quickly connected to his 4G network again.
Hakrin is known to be a deadly poison which first knocks someone unconscious after 5 seconds exposure to it, then kills from 10 - 30 minutes. If you see someone who is unconscious from Hakrin water, then immediately call 911 for help.
Effects on Extraterrestrial Beings
If a creature that does not come from planet Earth stands over Hakrin water, strange things are known to happen, such as loss of their Extraterrestrial powers, headaches, and body morphing.
Tommy gasped.
Tommy gasped.
Tommy gasped.
Tommy fainted, and rolled into the stream.
“Umm, what happened to him?” asked Fayasham. “Something went on in his brain, I should think,” Mahasyaf answered.
“Hmm...if only we knew,” said Faysaham.
“Maybe it’s the water!” Mahasyaf said. He walked over to it and started to peek in through the Hakrin water.
“No, DON’T!” Faysaham screamed as he lunged forward to save his pitiful bro. Mahasyaf struggled out of Faysaham’s grasp.
“You didn’t have to - WHOA!”
To make the story short, Mahasyaf slipped.
To make it longer, let us make it slow motion. Mahasyaf’s mouth slowly opened wide.
“W-W-W-W-W-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-OA!”
Oops, I accidentally pressed play. Let us do slow-mo again.
Mahasyaf’s lips wobbled as he screamed. His legs slowly slipped out from under him. Faysaham’s arms slowly reached out as he yelled. Maysahaf reached for Faysaham. their paws brushed, but all was lost. Maysahaf splashed into the murky depths of the water.
“NO! NOOOOOOOOO!” Faysaham howled.
He ran over to the stream and, almost slipping in himself, he peered in the brown, bubbly stream. But alas, Faysaham was the only creature left, staring in grief at the murky, muddy, bubbly Hakrin water.
January 2, 2013
In the Jungle: Chapter 8
Chapter 8
“You were pretty deep down there,” Faysaham said to his beautiful brother.
“I know! I mean, like, if I planned to live down there, I’d probably eat bugs and dirt!” Mahasyaf replied to his ugliful brother.
Head Narrator: Narrator, remember what I said --
Narrator: YES, Head.
“The Narrator is sure annoying,” said Zoe. “He messed up the whole story!”
“Only the first few chapters,” said Bo. “But you’re sure right; he practically messes up everything!”
Remember what I said about all fame being lost?
“Yeah, yeah.”
Anyways, as they were walking in the depths of the jungle, a dark shadow fell over them, and the only sound heard in the jungle was the screaming of five creatures.
Head Narrator: Narrator, that’s too casual! Make it exciting!
Narrator: YES, Head.
Suddenly, a dark shadow fell over the five creatures.
“AAAHH!” yelled Tommy.
“Help!” screamed Zoe.
“What happened?” bellowed Bo.
“No, no, no! I don’t WANNA lose my pitiful brother again!” Faysaham cried, struggling to find his brother in the dark shadows.
“I’m not pitiful!”
“I said beautiful, not pitiful! The narrator must have heard wrong!”
“Ohh, not trapped again!” Mahasyaf groaned loudly, changing the subject.
Gags were placed on the five creatures’ mouths as they were dragged away mercilessly.
“You were pretty deep down there,” Faysaham said to his beautiful brother.
“I know! I mean, like, if I planned to live down there, I’d probably eat bugs and dirt!” Mahasyaf replied to his ugliful brother.
Head Narrator: Narrator, remember what I said --
Narrator: YES, Head.
“The Narrator is sure annoying,” said Zoe. “He messed up the whole story!”
“Only the first few chapters,” said Bo. “But you’re sure right; he practically messes up everything!”
Remember what I said about all fame being lost?
“Yeah, yeah.”
Anyways, as they were walking in the depths of the jungle, a dark shadow fell over them, and the only sound heard in the jungle was the screaming of five creatures.
Head Narrator: Narrator, that’s too casual! Make it exciting!
Narrator: YES, Head.
Suddenly, a dark shadow fell over the five creatures.
“AAAHH!” yelled Tommy.
“Help!” screamed Zoe.
“What happened?” bellowed Bo.
“No, no, no! I don’t WANNA lose my pitiful brother again!” Faysaham cried, struggling to find his brother in the dark shadows.
“I’m not pitiful!”
“I said beautiful, not pitiful! The narrator must have heard wrong!”
“Ohh, not trapped again!” Mahasyaf groaned loudly, changing the subject.
Gags were placed on the five creatures’ mouths as they were dragged away mercilessly.
***
Nothing was heard in the room except muffled voices.
Outside the room, three creatures were speaking together, sitting at a round table.
“That was pretty easy,” said Creature #1. “They didn’t even take one look at our beautiful faces!” He tore off his face mask and stroked his nasty, bumpy, warty, pimply face.
Creature #2 made a disgusted face and turned away. To Creature #3 he said, “What are you planning to do with them?”
Creature #3 rubbed his hairy, stubbly chin. “Huh. I don’t really know.”
The whole time they were talking, Tommy was watching them. He saw them through the door with his X-ray vision.
“They’re pretty dumb,” he whispered to the other four creatures.
“Like you,” said Bo.
“Shadrach.”
“Whateva, bro. What’s shadrach anyway?”
“Envy Em.”
“What’s that?”
“Never mind.”
“Oh, come on, tell me!”
“I did. Envy Em are the letters N, V, and M and they sound like Envy Em. And NVM is short for never mind. So thr! Ever heard of chat language?”
Bo groaned.
Tommy swirled his head around and laser-cut the ropes that tied his beautiful blue hands tightly. After his hands were free, he ripped off his gag. Then he untied everybody else’s ropes and pulled of their gags.
“Be quiet! You don’t want those dummies to hear us!” Tommy whispered.
“I didn’t even say any--” Zoe began.
“Silence, mortal!” Tommy bellowed.
Zoe rolled her eyes.
Tommy tiptoed over to the door and pressed his intangible alien ear to it. He listened very closely.
“Did he now?” Bo whispered to me.
I do not approve of--
Head: Narrator, please. Remember what I said about--
Narrator: I did not you were still here, Head!
Head: I’m just observing your non-existent narrating skills. Is there a problem with that?
Narrator: Yes, I think I do--
Head: Anyway, as I was saying, remember what I said about disapproving of anything characters do or say. That’s Narrating Rule #9, by the way.
Narrator: You didn’t tell me that before!
Head: Was waiting for the right time to tell you. Bye, I’m leaving now.
Narrator: Good riddance.
Bo rolled his eyes.
“I think I’ll go check on them mortals now,” said a voice from the room. Tommy’s big black eyes grew as big as grapefruits and he quickly motioned for everybody to run! He laser-cut a hole in the wall and everybody ran through. Tommy zoomed through it and quickly fixed the wall. Just in time, too.
The doorknob rattled. The door swung open.
“WHAT IN THE ATINTHA?” Creature #2 bellowed.
Creature #2 made his way over to--
“I would like it if you just called me Retro instead of Creature #2,” said Retro (a.k.a. Creature #2).
“Yeah!’ said Creature #3 from the room. “Call me Crech and call him Turey.”
Retro looked defiantly at me.
Fine, I’ll call you all your real names.
“Thanks!” the creatures all cheered, pumping their nasty fists in the air.
“Now, please define us,” said Turey.
Turey is a small, pimply green snake who sheds his skin whenever he gets extremely angry. Crech is a huge brown elephant with two big bumps on top of his head. And Retro is a crazy howler monkey who always howls and bellows and hollers at everything. Like now, he was bellowing at his five lost prisoners.
Retro glared in anger at the gags and cut ropes on the dungeon ground. It wasn’t much of a dungeon, really. It was a small, dimly lit room made of dirt. And everywhere, bugs made homes. Especially cockroaches. In fact, just at that moment, a cockroach came out of Retro’s nostril and he screamed. The cockroach crawled into his open mouth and slipped down his throat. Retro gagged dramatically.
“Help me,” he gagged. “I’m choking!” He coughed even more dramatically.
Turey and Crech glanced at each other and snapped into action. They grabbed another gag from their collection and gagged Retro. Retro howled to show how much of a howler monkey he was.
Meanwhile, the five creatures, three of which are our heroes, were scurrying away into someplace safe.
“That was too easy,” said Mahasyaf.
“Isn’t that good?” asked Zoe.
“I daresay,” he answered.
“Well, let’s move on, then,” Bo said. He puffed out his chest proudly and marched away into a bush.
Faysaham glanced at Tommy, who stared at Mahasyaf, who looked at Zoe. Then they all gaped at Bo, who staggered out of the bush. A stream of blood trickled beneath Bo’s mouth and tickled him. Leaves were stuck in his hair. One leaf extruded out of Bo’s nostril. And his whole face now consisted more of scratches than skin.
“Oooh, yucky in my tucky,” said Faysaham, gagging. When he could not bear it a single second more, he bolted over to a tree, hastily dug a hole, and puked.
“Look what you did you my bro!” Mahasyaf yelled angrily at Bo, who grinned evilly and sheepishly. He was very ugly, with his scratched and dusty face, bloody nose, and leafy head. He felt very nasty, but he could see no near place to wash up, so--
“Liar!” Zoe exclaimed to me. “There’s a stream right there!” She pointed.
Oh yes. As I always knew, there was a stream east of the five creatures. It was silver-brown in color, and there was cushy, squishy mud at the bottom.
Zoe rolled her eyes at me, the
narrator. “‘As you always knew’?” she said rudely. “I knew it was there first!”Silence!
“I wonder why I always get killed,” Bo complained. “The Narrator hates me the most, I think. And I’m the funniest guy in the book!”
That’s where you are wrong, Bo. That’s just how the story goes.
“Hmmph.”
Bo shuffled to the stream, and was just about to jump in when suddenly...
“AAAAAAAAHHH!!!”
Bo screamed in horror as a green, muddy hand popped out of the stream with a loud and upsetting SPLORPP.
The hand slithered out of the water and wrapped itself around Bo’s neck. Bo was too wimpy to keep himself on shore, so he was pulled into the muddy water.
“Hey, Narrator!” Zoe yelled up. “I thought you said there was cushy, squishy mud at the bottom! Doesn’t that mean you can see through the water?”
Well, yes, Zoe. What’s your point?
“If you can see through the water, that means you can see what the hand is attached to!”
Ohh, right! I didn’t think of that.
Zoe made a face.
After hearing Zoe’s point, Tommy, Mahasyaf, and Faysaham (who had just come back from puking) ran up and stared in the water.
“I can’t see no nothin’,” said Mahasyaf.
“I don’t see no nothin’ either,” said Faysaham.
Zoe looked at everybody in horror. Then, with the most determined expression, she leaped into the water.
Tommy, Faysaham and Mahasyaf waited for her to come back up.
Guess what?
She never did.
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